GREENMUSE is a regular reader and fan contributor at antiMUSIC, the views expressed here don't necessarily reflect those of antiMUSIC or our sponsors, but we are sure you will enjoy what he has to say! 

(From antiMUSIC Editor Keavin Wiggins) For the past three years Greenmuse has been sharing his wit, remarkable imagination and his colorful personality with us here at antiMUSIC. It�s hard to believe that it�s been three years already. GM wrote his first article for us back in February of 2001, entitled �Punk Culture, or Lack Thereof�. Since that time he has checked in every month with a different tale. 

Some months he took us on an adventure, other months he tackled serious subjects, or brought us his unique perspective on popular culture and still at other times he paid tribute to some of the icons of music (Joe Strummer, Joey Ramone).  

There have been many fine adventures with Mr. Greenmuse. The tales of mullets, Mr. T., the need for change, the Jello Biafra/Dead Kennedy�s controversy. He warned us about Canada�s sinister plan to take over the world by using their secret agents; Celine Dion, Sum41, Nickelback and the dreaded Advil Latrine! He even prophesied that Marilyn Manson would become a teary-eyed televangelist.  

He took us on a trip to the mall to see what the kids are up to these days, he crashed the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame party and he took back in time to the glorious days of the 80s. He went on the mullet hunt in the great outback at the Auto parts store, disguised in his own mullet and a vintage KISS t-shirt stained with Mullet Musk!  

It�s amazing when you look back at all the subjects Greenmuse has covered in his own witty way; always there with his unique metaphors and his wonderful imagination. Every month, I look forward to seeing what he comes up with next.  

This month Greenmusic is on vacation but we here at antiMUSIC wanted to pay tribute to the man, myth, the mullet�Greenmuse. Instead of a traditional Roast, we are gonna have a mullet styled Greenmuse BBQ! 

Momentary Lapse of� 

Some of his best wit has been off the cuff comments in Fan Speak. Our very own DeadSun took to the task a few weeks back to gather his collection of favorite Greenmusings. For those that missed it, here it is again, DeadSun�s favorite quotes from the Greenone. 

DeadSun: If there be one thing that those who come to this site know, it is that Greenmuse--- the Green God of the Glade--- the Duke of Satisfying Krinkle Sounds--- not only rules, but is an all-around terrific lad. 

This thread has been named "All Things Greenmuse". I have gone through some old threads, and taken some quotes from Lord Muse, to submit as a testimony to his righteousness. I will look for more, but here is an aperitif: 

GM on pop-culture : "I guess we can all rest peacefully knowing that Jack Osbourne is a drug overdose just waiting to happen." 

GM on "Full House" : "We all know what the relation between Joey and him ( John Stamos ) really was about, don't we? Two muletted men, always bickering--- I think you know where I'm going with this--- and Mr. Tanner was the ringleader of it all." 

GM on being a wrathful deity : "Those I don't like don't get treated to my brand of off-the-wall, madcap fun--- they just get the boring Jack Hannah impresssion I do." 

GM on being fashionably evil : "For my evil work, I prefer a hot pink jumper with khaki trousers." 

GM on self-confidence : "People point and laugh at me all the time. It does nothing but encourage me." 

GM on family time : "--- sing yourself some gospel songs and I'll be Steven Curtis Chapman. Sometimes, I get the misses liquored up, and demand she dress as Amy Grant, and then we sing duets in the name of the Lord." 

GM on his real name : "I go by Erich, but only my hairdresser knows for sure." 

GM on iconoFANS : "I have tracked you all down, and have peeped into your windows--- then I make models of you and play weird games with them." 

GM on the games he plays with his iconoFAN dolls : "Last night, when playing with the models of people here, I made everyone go on an expedition in search of the monkey who cannot be named, when we finally found him after many trials and tribulations. We danced the night away to a skipping Shania Twain record--- an old one, from when she had bad teeth." 

GM on the responsibilities of ownership : "I once had a convertible Amish, but after a few years, he needed a new beard, and frankly I wasn't willing to put that much into him--- soo I traded him for a Hassidic Jew, who's giving me nothing but problems."

Bob bless the Green One.

antiGUY Checks in with a special Top 5: You know I almost did a top 5 once with Top 5 Greenmuses.. GM's wit is not to be denied.  Here are some of my favorites.

5) I feel like Corey Feldman without his fix, Garey Coleman without his daily trip to a drag queen dominatrix version of Oprah.

4) My favorite Wannabeus Gangserus Bling-Blingus, are the ones where after decking themselves out with a kings ransom in jewelery, a cell phone, at least 2 pagers, all brand name clothing, But then they get on the city bus.

3) I can see it now, "the play dough make your own punk playset", sponsored by Epitaph Records.

2) Aaron Lewis, needs a hug. Cheer up buddy, life can�t be that bad. 

And Greenmuse's finest musing: 

"Fred Durst for some odd reason has been very successful by writing simple lyrics with no real point other than to sell records to little angry boys. He is basically a penis wearing a red hat and he seems to wallow in this mire like a pig in mud."

All Green things must come to an end!

That�s the end of our part of the Greenmuse BBQ but please add your own comments.  We hope the Green One enjoyed his BBQ and is enjoying his time off. But we look forward to having him back soon. With the exception of Mr. T, no one is quite as cool as Greenmuse and no one can talk the mullet like our main man. 

It has been a real pleasure being the Green One's editor and I look forward to many more musings in the future. (For our next BBQ, we're gonna tie down Dr. Fever and force him to have sex with a Courtney Love lookalike. Stay tuned for that one soon as Dr. Fever's 4th Anniversary with us is coming up in May!)

This is Keavin signing off but I will leave you with this parting thought from Greenmuse:

The teletubbies live in a Orwellian nightmare, the loudspeaker tells them what to do, the pin wheels drug them with sparkly dust, their incoherent gibberish is really cries of pain, and wants of freedom and they worship some primordial sun god.  

For your browsing enjoyment, here are all of Greenmuse�s musings in order:
 

• The First Musing:  A Mullet Tale
• There will never be another Beatles 
• The Day the Music Died: A Tribute to Joey Ramone.
• The Day I Joined The Gods On Mount Olympus.
• a plea for change
• Mainstream Music Today
• The Selling of a Legend
• The Joe Dirt Syndrome
• The Agony And The Irony
• Marilyn Manson, its the end of the line
• New Year? It still looks like last year! Where are the flying cars?
• Plumbing The Depths Of The Mallcore Mind. Vol. 1. 
• A Night With The Stars
• Punk's Dead?
• Death Is No Replacement For Talent.
• Observations Of The "Human" Animal.
• Where I Come From "Corporate" Is A Bad Word
• Calgon, Take Me Away! 
• The Little Punk Rawker - New Dog, Same Old Tricks.
• GreenMuse's Music Fan Stereotype Extravaganza!
• Fear The Red Maple Leaf
• An Infiltration Into The Halls Of Yore
• Special Tribute to Joe Strummer: This Is Radio Clash Signing Off
• Green Crystal Ball-2003 Edition
• Bah! Kids today. (big cell phones, bigger hair; the 80s according to greenmuse)
• Call Scooby Doo! There's Mysteries Abound Tonight!
• I�m Not Economically Viable
• I�m not dead yet, I�m getting better.
• Jesus Had A Mullet, And So Should You!
• The Milk�s Gone Bad, Some Would Say It Went Rancid
• Two Sheds: The Thought or Act of Possessing Two Sheds
• The Monkey Conspiracy Goes All The Way To The Top!
• Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Greenmuse loves to hear from you, post a message below or send him an email at [email protected] (he does get some rather strange emails from time to time... there was this one from a 14 punker girl who asked him if he wanted to...)