GREENMUSE is a regular reader and fan contributor at antiMUSIC, the views expressed here don't necessarily reflect those of antiMUSIC or our sponsors, but we are sure you will enjoy what he has to say! 

Note: Greenmuse's column will now be posted on the 10th of each month instead of the 1st. 

Well, I had my green crushed velvet suit, complete with tails dry cleaned and ironed, but I�ve yet to receive my invitation to the that wonderful gathering of the stars, the Grammys. But from what I saw on TV, I didn�t miss much.

Actually I decided I wasn�t going to watch the crap fest this year, but my wife called me in to see who was on TV and lo and behold, it was Bob Dylan. I�ve never been into Bob Dylan but I watched out of sheer morbid curiosity. I have never seen a corpse sing before and I do use the term �sing� in the loosest sense of the word. His voice was really quite bad, but tolerable way back when. But on the Grammys, sheesh I�ve seen alley cats that can carry a tune better. I was truly shaken after seeing and hearing Mr. Dylan.

I saw on a recap that Missy Elliot won �best rap solo performance� for �get your freak on�, how in the blue hell does she manage to flim flam so many people into believing she has any sort of talent what so ever? You ever see that episode of the Cosby show where Bill Cosby raps? Need I say more?

The powers that be that decide the winners of the Grammy�s again show how out of touch they are, when Linkin Park�s �crawlin� wins the best hard rock award, I could name a zillion other bands that should have won this. The soundtrack of �Oh Brother Where Art Thou� is harder rock than these ass clowns. Limp Bizkit is better than them and that pains me to say, but its true. Speaking of �Oh Brother Where art Thou�, what in the blue hell is up with that winning so many awards? I just don�t get it.

Now many people would say the Grammy people know nothing of underground music, well I beg to differ. I went to the Grammy website (grammy.com) and I found the most underground type of music you will never hear. It surprised me to learn even of its existence and that would be Grammy field #16....polka, yes my friends polka, I thought that went out with women wearing green pantsuits with yellow paisley prints. By the way, the winner was �gone polka� by Jimmy Sturr. I haven�t heard it, but I have it pictured like that song �gone country� by some guy whose name I forget at the moment.

And of course the day after you got the people commenting on what the people were wearing, further proof of how unimportant award shows are. Nobody disputes the winners and losers of the awards, but you can bet your butt they will be giving thumbs up or down to the fashions these celebrities are wearing, Well I�ll give in just a bit, what the hell were the Dixie Chics thinking? That one girl looked like she cut a hole in a blanket and stuck her head through it!

Summing it all up, this years Grammy�s were a complete waste of time. It was pretty much like any award show, all corporate butt kissing and a waste of good TV time. But its kinda like watching a dog relieving itself on your neighbors lawn it is really not that interesting, and you know its gross, but ya gotta watch it just a little bit in case something amazing happens. later gm