Forever Lame by antiGUY

A couple of weeks ago I had the misfortune of being down with the flu, so as I sat in bed one night feeling non-too-healthy, I began flipping through channels on the TV trying to find something at least half way decent to watch. I came across yet another "100 greatest" specials on VH1. This time it was the greatest artists of hard rock, a show I must have missed the first 500 times it aired, so not finding anything else to watch I sat through the last 15 minutes of the count down. As I was about to begin channel surfing again an announcer came on and told me to stay tuned for the debut of "Forever Wild" with Sebastian Bach. I was intrigued that someone actually gave this guy a job but figured hey they might show some cool videos so I'll check it out. That was my first mistake. 

Within a couple of minutes of watching Sebastian Bach I became violently ill. This guy is supposed to be representing metal-heads? Does VH1 really think that badly of the metal population that they try and pass Sebastian Bach off as their spokesperson?  If anything the way Sebastian acts makes him metal's answer to the Dell Dork, you know the dork who stars in the Dell Computer commercial and says "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" 

I kept watching, hoping Sebastian would mellow out with the "act" but after a few painful minutes ticked by the thought occurred to me that "maybe this isn't an act at all, maybe he's really like this?" Then I became angry that VH1 would hire this guy and have him try to pass himself off as "Mr. Metal".  Couldn't they find a better host? Someone that doesn't act like a reject from Beavis and Butthead hell? 

By now some readers are asking "Why does antiGUY hate Sebastian Bach so much? His music wasn't as bad as some of the stuff other hair bands put out in the 80's".  To be honest it has absolutely nothing to do with Sebastian's music, Skid Row did produce some decent tunes and some not so great tunes, but that isn't what turned my stomach. It was his personality, he comes across as a helpless nerd trying in vain to be cool. Before seeing this "show" I only had second hand knowledge of Sebastian's personality. I know Metal-Sludge slams him every chance they get and I've heard other people say not so nice things about him in the past but I dismissed it as people not liking his music. Well I had to reevaluate that conclusion after being exposed to "Forever Wild". I think most of the negativity focused on him comes from the way he carries himself and has very little to do with his music. 

So I forced myself to sit through the entire hour of inane Sebastianes and thought, "Well, that was pretty bad, I'm gonna have to avoid this show in the future." Then I flipped over to a movie on Showtime and didn't give it a second thought. However, a few days later I discovered that "Forever Wild" was a replacement for the "Rock Show" and I grew incensed. So it's true, VH1 does hate hard rock and metal. Why else would they replace a decent show that actually showed some cool videos with an hour of Sebastian Bach acting like a jack-ass reject straight off the short bus to school? 

If anyone from VH1 is reading this, please BRING BACK THE ROCK SHOW, one episode of Sebastian Bach was all I could handle. I venture to guess a lot of people would agree and the show will soon be canceled due to low ratings (then again bad taste prevails and Friends is still on the air and at the top of ratings). But the next time the programming geniuses attempt to make a show showcasing "metal culture" they should pay better attention to who they hire to host it, Lemmy would have been a killer host or hell even one of the dude's from Metal-Sludge would have been better (imagine the fireworks of those interviews!), perhaps they could have kept Scott Ian and the "Rock Show" on and not bothered with this lame excuse for entertainment. 

I don't know what segment of the metal community Sebastian is supposed to represent but I doubt you'll find too many metal heads that would consider Pat Benatar metal. What's next? Are they going to get Paul Gargano from Metal Edge to co-host or dare I say it Gerri Miller?  I guess we will have to wait and see what happens to "Forever Wild" but the minute Sebastian says "Dude, you're getting a Dell", I'm going postal!