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antiGUY gives his top 5 list of music stuff. Could be songs, people, a stupid trend... nothing is sacred to antiGUY

Top 5 Lamest CD's of 2002

Another New Year and I'm sure you have seen more than your fair share of "Best of 2002" lists and articles by now. We even get into that act each year! With this list, instead of listing the "Best of," I wanted to put the anti-slant on it and take a look at the lamest CD's of 2002 (In my opinion). Sadly, I only have five to work with here--I could probably come up with ten times that many!

So let's get on with it. Here are my picks for the Top 5 lamest CD's of 2002. Feel free to post your own in the fan speak or call me a hater for bashing your favorite hack.

Let's hope 2003's list is shorter! Cheers and Happy New Year! - aG

Top 5 Lamest CD's of 2002

5. Linkin Park � Reanimation: I'm sure this will piss off LP fans but to me this CD seemed like an excuse for LP to milk what was left of Hybrid Theory for all that it was worth by taking the songs and doing some remixes. I know that's a typical tactic in Hip-hop but don't people realize what a rip off it is? I liked Hybrid Theory when it came out and I still do, besides the overexposure it received, but this CD seemed like a cheap ploy to rip off their fans.

4. Missy Elliott - Under Construction: Even loading the album up with special guests couldn't save this CD (almost half of the tracks features special guests). Maybe I'm missing something here but Missy's "raps" are simpleminded and about as far from "fresh" as you can get. Ending every line with "ya" is really mind expanding. People who want to argue that hip-hop has credibility should be out pounding the soapboxes against Missy Elliot because she drags the genre to new lows. She is to rap what Crazy Town is to rock. And don't give me that "her beats are tight" crap, anyone can take pro-tools, acid loops or a drum machine and create these beats! Give us Missy throwing down the beats with a real live drum set and I might be impressed.

3. Avril Lavigne � Let Go: The banal lyrics to "Sk8er Boy" are enough to land this CD on the list but there are bigger reasons to lash out at Avril. We can chock the lame lyrics up to Avril's age and target audience. The problem here is her bogus image and lack of originality. Sure record exec's are most likely the culprits behind the scam of marketing Avril as "punk" but despite who is to blame that move is just plain lame! Avril is to punk what Poison is to metal! I won't even give her that. She's a teen pop rock singer--nothing less, nothing more. Without the lyrics, the music is ok and her vocal's aren't bad for a second rate Alanis knock off (Think Creed doing Pearl Jam) but taking the hype and marketing into account and whole Avril package lands her firmly on the lame list.

2. Tommy Lee - Never A Dull Moment: It seems Tommy has never seen a trend he didn't want to follow and this CD landed with a thud in record stores and made MCA think twice about their deal with Tommy. Yes, they ended up dropping him. The problem here is Tommy tries to be Nine Inch Nails meets Limp Bizkit meets Linkin Park. There is nothing wrong with trying to remain relevant but Tommy did such a poor job of mimicking these bands that it is somewhat painful to listen to. But the worst part is his rap-metal cover of Bowie's "Fame". That sin alone earns him his spot here.

And the lamest CD of 2002 was

Kelly Osbourne � Shut Up! This is nepotism at its absolute worst! The world is filled with real musicians who can't catch a break and Sony Music gives us Kelly Osbourne instead? I understand that Sony wanted to cash in on the success of the Osbournes and if Kelly had some genuine talent it would be a different story but it looks like what we have instead is a spoiled brat who got a record deal. Don't hand me that she has a voice crap either. Listen closely to her singing and you hear the telltale signs of studio magic at work (natural voices don't have reverb). The fact that she refused to sing a bar or two for a fan in a recent episode of The Osbournes speaks volumes. Her "excuser" gave the lame reason that Kelly didn't have her band with her. She needs a band to sing a few lines? Ozzy I love you but why did you have to foist your kids on the world?