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antiGUY gives his top 5 list of music stuff. Could be songs, people, a stupid trend... nothing is sacred to antiGUY

Disclaimer for the dense (a.k.a. those who don't know the difference between the words accept and except or mass and vast), these lists are meant to be stupid! If you don't get the humor (or lack thereof), that's fine but bitching about it isn't gonna change things or make these lists out to be something they aren't (profound, meaningful etc). These are simply silly distractions. Have a nice day =) aG

Missy Elliot's Top 5 Rhymes.

It amazes me that I still get hate mail for a rant I wrote over a year ago about Missy Elliot. In that rant I poked fun at her literacy and rhyming ability, which is pretty much none existent on both counts on the "music" I have heard from her. Call me old fashioned or crazy but I don't count using the same exact word as rhyming.

I'm not a rap fan but I can respect rappers who have the ability to weave together complicated rhymes. It is a skill, I won't deny that. However, in my exposure to Missy's music, I have never seen that skill demonstrated. To me she comes off as a third rate hack.

In the hate mails that I could decipher (most were so poorly written and utterly lacking in literacy that they were unintelligible), her fans insist that I missed the point entirely and that Missy is a musical innovator. Maybe I did miss the point? Maybe I just don't get it? Taking that point of view, I have to gather that not really rhyming all the time may be her way of being innovative. Maybe she has a deep philosophical message to her music and that's why people excuse her lack of putting two different sounding words together?

So I decided to take another look at Missy's "work", to search for the innovation and the deep meaning. I wanted to find where she has moved music forward to a new level. Her beats may be "tight" as some claim but you can credit the drum machine manufacturer not Ms. Elliot.

So the following Top 5 list features just a few examples of Missy Elliot's rhymes that I came across in my quest to give her another chance.

Missy Elliot's Top 5 Rhymes.

5) Jeans / Jeans (from her new Gap commercial with Madonna)

4) It / it / it / ya

3) Ay yo yo yoyo yoyoyoyo / Ay yo yo yoyo yoyoyoyo

2) Table / Paper

1) so � so / Yo � Yo and dee � low / uh � huh / uh � huh / uh � huh / uh � huh

Innovative? Perhaps you can see it that way if you're on crack. I still don't get how she is brilliant or an innovator. Maybe rapping at a 2nd grade level is innovative. Or perhaps music has degraded to such a point that people like Missy are considered "innovative" and "genius", which is really an insult to real innovators and geniuses. The mystery still abounds.

I gave it a second chance and if anything my findings strengthened my earlier opinions. But then again, maybe I still miss Missy's "genius". In the end, who the hell cares? I will continue to be a "hater", that just doesn't get it. And that's fine by me.