Well Folks- Superman has returned- and he should have stayed wherever he was frankly.  In spite of amazing visual special effects, the advances made from the first films aren't an excuse enough to bring this film franchise back from the dead.  In fact, the most refreshing moment for me was when Lex Luthor crippled Superman with Kryptonite, bringing the movie down to the level it actually sits at quality wise without the super power special effects to prop it up.  For all of Superman's powers, now enhanced with the aforementioned special effects which can easily make anything even marginal a blockbuster (take �The Day After Tomorrow' or �Armegeddon' to name a couple), the greatest weakness of this film is the concept itself.  A classic is something you can restore if it's a car, but rarely ever if it's a movie.  Nothing is invulnerable to the failures often implied in such a move: not Superman, nor any other franchise- take Godfather III or Rocky V, both of which would have ruined the legacy of each film series had it not been for movie watchers' ability to forgive and forget the fact that they were made.  Superman himself couldn't have saved this sequel either, if you want to call it that.  Everything felt very contrived, except for the stunts Superman pulls off, because we're used to that as a premise.  Still, the special effects worked against our caped hero in this instance, because part of the magic of the first films, of the comic books- was the fact that you still had to use your imagination.  Every time they re-invent one of these franchises, they end up with second-rate actors (Keavin Spacey as Lex Luthor vs. Gene Hackman?  No comparison.  Or Lois Lane as Kate Bosworth vs. Margo Kidder?  ARE YOU KIDDING?!!)  Watching Superman Returns was like watching Bob Parr a.k.a. Mr. Incredible from THE INCREDIBLES (a MUCH more refreshing and entertaining superhero film, by the way) try to slide back into his super suit- it just didn't fit anymore.

It's like Star Wars where Obie Won and Yoda come back from the spirit world to give Luke advice, but its still not quite the same because they're not back for good.  Star Wars is actually the perfect example: they gave us 3 beautiful films, of which we all had fond childhood memories growing up watching Science Fiction re-invent itself as a genre on the big screen, then again for our children on DVD, and that was good enough.  Then they came along with the Episodes I, II and III, which almost EVERYBODY agreed universally couldn't hold a candle to the first trilogy, in spite of the Special Effects.   Its why cartoons from the 50s and 60s are as popular with kids today as anything they throw at you now, maybe with the exception of notables like Sponge Bob Square Pants and Beavis and Butthead, or the Simpsons and the Family Guy- but imagine if Baby Stewie ever grew up!  Or Bart Simpson!  The geniuses who produce the Simpsons and Family Guy, which have been on the air for 17 and 7 years respectively without any aging in the characters, realize they have staying power because of that very fact.  People freeze those characters in their memory, like a preferable time in their lives- childhood perhaps- and return there every week for just a little slice of the good old days.  Does anybody really want to argue that �Rocket Power' can hold a candle to The Smurfs? Or Voltron? Or G.I.Joe? I could go on and on, but what's the point.  In terms of the first 3 Star Wars Episodes (released in 1999, 2002, and 2005), I wonder if anyone has ever stopped to ask themselves why George Lucas opted to shoot and release Episodes 4, 5 and 6 first?  Does Samuel L. Jackson or Jar Jar Binks answer the question for you?    As far as the character portrayals in the new Superman film, the actors playing classics like Daily Planet Editor  Parry White and Jimmy Olson are charactures of their former glorious selves.  This film even got so desperate to appeal to fans of the original series in the context of character portrayal that they included Marlon Brando's scenes from the original Superman film from 1978.  Ultimately, the only thing sadder I can think of than the tragedy that has befallen this beloved film franchise is the NEXT sequel they make.  Before long, this evil reincarnation will have done too much damage to the legacy of Superman for any Super Hero to mend.  This is most sad if- as a fan- you think in historical context of the fact that Superman is supposed to be invincible.  
 

Shameless Plug: On August 15th, 2006, Versailles Records will release �Three Lock Box: A Millennium Tribute to Sammy Hagar', featuring Hanoi Rocks, Skid Row, Zebra, Riot, the Uptown Horns, Lillian Axe, Dio, Saigon Kick, as well as Grammy winning keyboardist Randy Cantor, the Richard Kendrick, the RadioVipers, Shane Volk of One Bad Son, Chris Catena, Chris Heaven, Daniel Flores, Michael Gapys, 5150, Harry Slash, and others To learn more, visit www.versaillesrecords.com

About the author: Jake Brown is owner/operator of Nashville-based Versailles Records and a biographer who has published several books. Click here to more details.