Singled Out: El May's Thrills
. This song is about sexual anticipation, specifically the sexual tension between two long-time friends. Wondering if and when the guy is going to take an action to transition the friendship into a romance. I think that the time before a platonic relationship moves into a sexual one has to be one of the most exciting, painful and charged times to experience. I'm singing about a man I'd known for a good 6 or 7 years, one or both of us dating someone most of that time, and for a while living in different cities. Always with some sexual tension between us, but the line was never crossed. Then we found ourselves single and living in the same city. The thing is - despite a few really close interactions, romance did not transpire between us. I feel that it would have if I'd made the first move, but I was pretty determined that he and not I, initiate. I was trying out this because I'd read about an idea, that when it comes to early stages of a relationship between men and women, if a man isn't courageous enough, vulnerable enough to make the first move, (be it physical or verbal) then his heart really isn't in it, and down the line when the stakes are higher, he'll demonstrate that he is not the ideal long-term partner for that particular woman, and it will all fall apart anyway. This is just one completely general idea that might be so wrong in so many situations, but it was a useful and interesting (mostly impossible) exercise for me, because I'm often the one who takes things to the next place, if you know what I'm saying. I think this concept does hold some truth for a few reasons, and even though a desire might be strong, I like the idea of 'standing by' so as to not waste a bunch of time with a man who is ambivalent about putting his feelings on the line. (This is all of course, if we're talking about, and interested in, a long-term partnership). 'I'm the one you'll turn to' is sort of a creepy and psychotic line. But I was pretty convinced. I liked the thought of this man as my partner. There was a woman he was dating on and off, and they seemed to bring out terrible things in each other - and I thought, "Wow she's so critical of everything you do, but I've known you for ages and I see and accept you as you are". He'd had a history of being in these very tumultuous, dramatic relationships and I thought, "Well, I can wait for him to grow out of this." He was in the US, and I was in England for some of the time we were flirting, and I was staying at my parents place deep in the countryside, writing this song about my feelings around him. I was seriously jet-lagged and enjoyed staying up until 4am for a few nights, with headphones at the dining room table writing this as I recorded it. I started with the drum machine beat, then a rough melody. (I vaguely imagined the vocal to be like the detached-sounding female backing vocal in the Prince song 'Pop Life') I had a great time building the beat over time, making it more substantial and danceable. The bass sound and parts were supposed to be temporary, but I really got attached to them. The piano (super low bass notes and sparkly verbed-out high stuff) was recorded in the Withyham Village Hall, near where my parents used to live. I paid the care-taker lady �10 to use the piano for a bit. With only one mic stand but two mics, I jimmied up a contraption whereby the other mic could dangle into the piano from a stick trapped into other bits of wood on a shelf. It worked well, I really like the piano tone. It's probably out of tune, but it does the trick! I do think that sexual / romantic energy is really the same raw material as creative energy. In this case I'm really glad that I didn't make the first move and potentially go down a dead-end path with him, because instead, I made this song. Alchemy! Though he's heard 'Thrills', the guy subject has no idea about it being about him, and I believe he'd never suspect it. Meanwhile, a few of my other male friends think it's about them. No, it's not! Hearing is believing. Now that you know the story behind the song, listen for yourself as you watch the video here and learn more about El May and her new album right here!
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