Singled Out: The ColourSound's Guilty For The First Time

I wrote Guilty for the First Time in the first person (but it's not autobiographical) and it only refers to the stumbling drunk/drug abuser/liar as "you" to keep it universal. I really don't know if the drunk or speaker is male or female nor does it matter. It is a relationship in which two people love each other. I think the speaker is an adult because he/she is canvassing guys in the bar room for information. A child may not have that access, but envisioning the speaker as a fairly precocious child adds innocence and even more sadness. It is a dark tune after all. One reviewer described it using the word "prog" (I'm sure to mean progressive rock) but the verb really means to skulk around in search of something - which I thought was just the perfect imagery for the mood of this song. If the double meaning was intentional � cheers! For the sake of this piece, I'll refer to the speaker as male just because I am singing and the drunk as female just because I don't think I'd get that bent out of shape about a male friend coming home drunk all the time.

I was raised in a catholic household, so religious imagery often insinuates itself into my lyrics. I try to temper my treatment of it out of respect. The bible being fingered while the abandoned one waits is an allusion to the broken promise (probably more than once) both to the speaker and to God. The drunk does try to sneak in, so she is not overtly flaunting this destruction, and the speaker straightening his posture indicates readiness � prepared to express something long overdue.

The second verse backtracks into the speaker's head. It shows what led to this plan of attack. He has found out the necessary information and is willing to admit that he has been in denial but has had enough.

For me, the key to this song � what makes it a little different from the traditional "drunk destroys family" story - is not the fact that the drunk got called out for the first time, it's that she feels guilty for the first time � and the speaker recognizes that. For the first time this woman, for whom he has eagerly waited to come around, has seen the error of her way. So while the concept is still depressing, perhaps there is still hope in the fact that one of these times may be the last time . . . but probably not.