Singled Out: Thomas Truax's April Showers

Sometimes the words and atmosphere of a song come from places in you that you're not necessarily fully conscious of at the time of writing. Later, associated with real events, they may take on new and/or fuller meanings. 'March Winds' was like that for me.

My Father passed away on the 28th of March at the age of 84. Having done battle with numerous health problems for quite a few years, he surrendered finally to wait out that inevitable eventual call of whatever-waits-next, and I spent a lot of time with him in his last weeks laid up in a hospice.

'March Winds' was the last song I played for him while he was alive. I played it again at his funeral. Though I did not write it for or about him, it will now always have a relationship with him in my mind. I thought initially that perhaps when I got on to writing April's song, it would be about my Father in some way. I even wrote a few lines, but realized that March Winds is that song, even though I didn't set out writing it for or about him. In his final days he struggled through some terrifying visions and spiritual challenges before his mind and body finally broke down completely.

I almost dreaded getting in to writing April's song for fear that it would be doomed to being something awful born from the state of grief, jetlag and emotional weariness I was in. Instead, working on it was more like medicine. It's not necessarily a happy song, but from where I was at, to work on it lifted me. To look around from the vantage point of the dark places I'd been recently, hanging around death's door with my Dad, to arrive back in England and see the long warmer days and everything flowering and this Royal Wedding approaching, I just felt like "no, you can't just go straight from that challenging dark world into a pastel Hallmark card can you? Please April, have a little sympathy and rain a little?" So on a certain level maybe April Showers portrays something of this transition between death/loss and embracing life while you still have the gift of it. It wasn't a difficult song to write. Once I had the basic feel of it taking form, I just kept letting it grow. Until I ran out of time. Which may be a saving grace for me on this project. (As I've said before there's a danger of overcooking songs when I've got unlimited time.)"