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John Oates' Drug Addled J-Stache Vs Super Mario

03/16/2010
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J-Stache, the drunken, drugged, and just generally incoherent mustache of John Oates, has just released his first iPhone game: Run, J-Stache Run! In this physics-based puzzler, you help guide J-Stache out of rehab to reunite him with his boy Oatesie.

To drum up support for the game, J-Stache did what he does best � ride the coattails of somebody more famous to grab a few headlines. Here is that announcement: In his latest attempt to cash in on the fame of others, J-Stache, the talking, drug-addled, supposedly crime-fighting mustache of John Oates, recently attempted to gain notoriety in the media for a stunt lawsuit against Nintendo visionary and Super Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto. The suit was intended to raise J-Stache's profile around the release of his new iPhone and iPod Touch game, "Run J-Stache Run."

Unsurprisingly, the lawsuit was a complete fraud and was, in fact, never actually filed, nor did any infringement take ever place. J-Stache released an announcement apologizing, saying "nobody got the joke. I was totally joking guys, you know? Don't sue me for anything. We're cool, right?"

J-Stache alleged that Miyamoto stole the core concepts behind his wildly successful plumbing and mushroom-based game series during a "crazy night in Kyoto" where, according to J-Stache, they "took a metric s***-ton of X" and were rendered in a state he referred to as "totally off [their] tits." In reality, the entire event was fabricated.

An additional lawsuit was also supposedly going to be filed against Russian computer engineer Alexey Pajitnov for the creation of Tetris. J-Stache complained the game, which has proven popular to grandmothers, puzzle nerds, and probably your dog, infringed on his copyright to "Cubist Dogmatic Postmodern Gaming Theory."

However, as Pajitnov was working under communist Russia during the creation of Tetris, and therefore doesn't own the patent/copyright to his own game, J-Stache decided that was "hilarious enough." J-Stache was then quoted as saying it "sucks for that dude" and decided against pursuing a (fake) legal case.
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