"Don't Be A Jerk (It's Christmas)," destined to be an eternal holiday favorite going forward, is a song with a message, an important and timely message. As Tom Kenny, the comic actor who has voiced SpongeBob for the series' entire duration and sings SpongeBob's part on the song, puts it, "It's a plea is for a minimal diminishment of jerk-oriented activities and attitudes for a mere 24 hour period; in other words, "Don't Be A Jerk, (It's Christmas)."
Kenny, who co-wrote "Don't Be A Jerk (It's Christmas)" with pop music veteran Andy Paley, continues, "Humankind seems to be entering a whole new era of 'jerkism' with politicians screaming at each other, sports figures throwing tantrums, self-indulgent entertainers making fools of themselves, and fame-seeking parents exploiting their kids -- one or eight at a time. The song addresses and decries that lack of civility in large and small ways. Logic says that -- with apologies to Charles Dickens -- if we have a ghost of a chance to succeed, it's going to be at this time of year. The idea is to start with Christmas and then, maybe, go on to deal with 'jerkitude' the other 364 days of the year."
"Don't Be A Jerk (It's Christmas)" is one of five songs on the recently released SpongeBob's Greatest Hits album that Tom Kenny co-wrote with Andy Paley. "My Tighty Whiteys," "Employee of the Month," "The Best Day Ever" and "Where's Gary?" along with "Don't Be A Jerk (It's Christmas)" are all part of the album and were produced by Paley. He also serves the musical director of SpongeBob & the Hi-Seas, a live rock band fronted by Kenny. The group has been literally featured on the high seas, as the star attraction of Royal Caribbean's Nickelodeon Family Cruise and will be performing on New Year's Eve at the Mall of America in Bloomington, MN
Radio stations will be serviced with "Don't Be A Jerk (It's Christmas)" shortly, the hope being that the song will sound a cautionary note from an authority figure who, over the course of the past decade, has come to stand for civility, kindness and the highest of moral values. Yes, we can all learn to be better people if we only listen to a highly absorbent cartoon character whose rectitude is echoed by his angular body contours.
In anticipation of spontaneous sing-alongs breaking out in the days leading up to the holidays, we offer the lyrics of "Don't Be A Jerk (It's Christmas)."
Don't Be A Jerk (It's Christmas)
Spoken Intro: Ahoy, Everybody!
Spongebob Here!
Christmas Is A Time For Presents And Mistletoe, Sharing And Caring.
So During This Most Festive Season ...Please, Don't Be A Jerk!
Bring "Joy To The World" It's The Thing To Do
But The World Does Not Revolve Around You
Don't Be A Jerk, It's Christmas!
There's A Sign Above The Line That Says "Express"
That Means "Ten Items Or Less"
Don't Be A Jerk, It's Christmas!
Be Nice To Babies And Animals, Old Folks Too
'Cause That's How You'd Like Them To Treat You
Use Turn Signals, Don't Screen My Calls
Don't Cha Wreck The House When You Deck The Halls!
Spit Your Gum Where It Won't Wind Up On My Shoe
Squeeze Toothpaste From The Bottom Of The Tube
Don't Be A Jerk, It's Christmas!
When Others Are Talking Never Interrupt
Don't Put People Down Or Leave The Toilet Seat Up
It's The Time For Family And Holly And Turkey
'Tis The Season To Be Jolly Not Jerky!
(Jolly Not Jerky!)
Don't Dig In The Cereal Box For Goodness Sakes
Take The Prize And Leave Me Nothing But Flakes
Don't Be A Jerk, It's Christmas!
Santa Brought Nearly Everything On Your List
Why Whine About The One That He Missed?
Don't Be A Jerk, It's Christmas!
Don't Be A Jerk, It's Christmas!
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