So what about this - Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon have known each other for less than two months, which means the chances of this ending in a way that's messy and embarrassing for all is sky-high? Yeah, now you care. Doesn't matter. We're still coming to beat you up.

So what girl wouldn't want to go through all that again, and with a guy she's only just met? Mariah Carey sure would, because she's apparently got engaged to Nick Cannon, a rapper who got his name because one of his hobbies involves putting ball bearings up his bum and farting them out at pirate ships.[Update: Reuters is now reporting that the two married last week "in a secret ceremony in front of family and friends at Carey's house in Eleuthera"]
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