However, very few of us have seen what Madonna is actually like during real sex - something few of us would wish to change. But now something has come along that threatens to shatter our cocoon of not knowing how Madonna has sex forever - a man is claiming he's in possession of a Madonna sex tape.

Wait, wait - don't freak out just yet. This alleged Madonna sex tape is supposedly between Madonna and Alex Rodriguez! There's not a sniff of Guy Ritchie anywhere! That means, at absolute worst, the Madonna sex tape will only be appalling enough to make your eyeballs burn up and pop. You won't actually die from watching it.
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