Bill - Batman review - antiMusic.com

Screw the mainstream if you really want to get your rocks off you have to go to the underground. That's just what we plan to do with this series, take some of the best emerging bands that are out blowing away hardcore fans on the underground music scene.

Bill - Batman
By Joannie Foney

Aspiring musicians, send your demos to Grasshopper Records!! They'll release literally anything, apparently. I plan to record my kids squabbling & arguing & carrying on like a pack of rabid lil' monkeys as classical music plays in the background to submit to this company. Soon we'll be breakfasting on lobster tails & truffles, we'll get to throw away our clothes & dishes after just one use, we'll buy a new car every time the radio station plays a song we don't like rather than changing the dial & we'll put Tiffany's on our speed dial. I just can't wait till luxury is squirting out our pores, hosing down everyone who comes to within a 30 foot radius of us as we become the royalty of the mid-west, cheerfully giving autographs to all of those who 'knew us when'. If Lindsay Lohan can get a 5 record deal, my kids should get at least 2 records out of the deal. Watch & wait, loyal fans!!

The record company of Hope Alaine, possibly in a suicidal depression or a weird act of desperation after her latest musical bomb have pinned their hopes on the new release of Bill's, "Batman". Initially I feared that this singer with Down's Syndrome was being exploited by some greedy, heartless monsters determined to squeeze a profit out of the mentally handicapped. After touring the website (& reminiscing about funny ol' Hope & her pitifully weak & bad release) I have more questions. Why has this album been released? I'm sure every proud mama & papa love their lil' dumplin pies & think everything they do is swell, but should they attempt to make a profit off of it? Should Junior's finger paintings go up for sale on E-Bay as though they were Brittney Spears' 1st grade book report?* If someone mentally handicapped was being exploited, is this something the mass market should encourage by purchasing their product, even if it totally rocked?**

According to the website, Bill was an integral part of recording this album, not only singing, but naming the tunes as well as this release. It was a relief to read him being referred to so respectfully, as though he was something other than a weird novelty they just wanted to use to sell albums to sympathetic Joe Cocker fans. There is not even a word about his condition, though the pictures make it obvious that God made Bill "special". Hopefully every word on that website was as trustworthy as the Bible, the people behind the scenes are just letting Bill do what he loves, Grasshopper Records is the most gracious label on the planet, and when Bill got tired, they let him be done for the day rather than forcing him to keep going for just 'one more take', I have no idea. I know if I were unscrupulous & greedy & this guy was my hoped for ticket out, I'd have him in that studio from 3 am to 11 pm until the album was finished, I'd jam a fast peanut butter & jelly sandwich with a side of tap water down his throat when he got hungry, and I'd scream at him & verbally abuse him when he got too tired to continue. (Heh, heh, heh, my kids just better watch it!)

Well, for the morbidly curious, this is an incredibly interesting & original album. I can honestly say I have never in all my many, many, many years alive on this planet heard anything even remotely this unique. I wonder if they had played music behind Bill that Joe Cocker people like, if they'd have a smash hit on their hands, a large following of groupies, and their own plans for spending the obscene fortunes lavished on today's entertainers.*** Bill's incomprehensibility is jarring, though his voice is actually pretty (if that's an OK thing to say about a guy), showing a better range than a lot of singers today, and demonstrating a lot more innate talent than any of the pop tarts on the music scene at any given moment, who suck by nature as well as by choice. In fact, now that I think about it, if all the music I liked on the planet disappeared, and I was forced to choose between the dross found on teeny popper radio, or Bill's release till I got even older & croaked, I'd go with Bill's & never look back with regret. The songs all sound like each other due to the vocals, though all the tunes are different, mid to fast-ish tempo generic rock music.

All but one tune sounded totally original, and all provided Bill with the perfect musical accompaniment for his singing: not too loud in the hopes of drowning him out, either.

I think I'll close with the words about him from his website, as I have run out of things to say about Bill & his release. Actually, I fear someone will take something I wrote the wrong way & accuse me of advocating a Margaret Sanger-esque eugenics program in the record industry:

BILL is exactly who he appears to be. One of the great singers and entertainers of our time, BILL has the audience command of Sammy Davis, Jr., the vocal range of Captain Beefheart, and the emotive power of Ray Charles. He loves to sing and perform, and has been blessed with the quality most sought-after by singers: unselfconciousness. His art is an exhilarating ride of wild highs and lows, at times funny, baffling, and tender. He will veer from gentle ballads to down-on-the-floor hard rock, defying expectations at every turn. A song will seem to be done, only to have BILL instruct the band, "Hit it!" His voice swoops, hollers, pleads, croons, and groans, often switching without warning. Surprisingly, he leaves no one behind, except maybe those trying to catch every word. Our advice: there isn't any time! Just follow the singer, he won't let you down.

Ummm, 2 or 3 stars, I guess, I just don't know. He deserves more stars than Hopey or Lindsay is the only thing I'm fully convinced of. If the music playing away behind him was a heavy, rockin' thrash fest, I'd probably like it enough to buy his other one, too. Joe Cocker fans might think this is a heavy, thrashin' jam fest, though! They might like it a great deal, buy one for them & keep Bill from becoming a burden on the taxpayers.

* Be on the lookout for my kids' homework coming soon to E-Bay! Their homework is impressive enough for you to plagiarize for use in your school, if you want to!
** remember, I said "EVEN IF it totally rocked", which is a vast universe apart from, "EVEN THOUGH this totally rocks!"
*** If Bill's people take that suggestion & he becomes rich & famous, send my portion of the royalties to the Special Olympics & fax me the receipt.

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