'The Lab' is in a shambles. Such commotion and generally bad things are happening that I�m not sure which way is up anymore. Bad vibrations.  The walls have began to close in, the voices in my head are screaming louder than ever, and I�m pissed. And it has more to do with the current state of music than Courtney Loves' latest raping of her husbands memory. (Dave and Krist...what in the HELL were you thinking????)

I've sat back and watched the new "Rock Revival" and bitten my tongue.  Now, yes, it is nice to see some 'rock' type music getting some of the proverbial love again from the mainstream media, but this is ri-goddamn-diculous.  In short; The White Stripes, The Strokes, The Hives and all the others SUCK. Period. Although, I do like The Vines for some reason. Blame Keavin, his review of the album hooked me. (naw the music hooked you , I just got your curiousity going. So would you say The Strokes are no Vines? - Keavin)  But, I digress... 

Anyway, there are some problems with the whole thing...first, The Strokes try to pass themselves off as some kind of garage band who's all about the sex, drugs and rock and roll. Folks, they can do that because THEY'RE ALL STINKING RICH!! They've been rich for years...they're daddy's funded the whole damn thing. "America's Favorite Four Car Garage Band" is as fitting a nickname as any that have ever existed. Count me and Buddyhead as the two biggest Strokes haters. But, hell, they hate 'em more than me. They hate 'em a lot.

The White Stripes. I don't want to crucify this band just yet...they honestly worked their way up the chain from the underground.  I still can't get into 'em though. Maybe, just maybe, if the singer dude would just come out and ADMIT that he used to nail the drummer and she is, in fact, NOT his sister..then maybe I'd raise the respect bar a little more. But, probably not...I think the music blows. 

The Hives. Jesus, where do I start? First, they broke the cardinal rule of Rock and Roll: NO FAT GUYS (unless you're Crowbar, but that's another story for another day..) Oh, and their album has only been released, re-released, and re-re-re-released something like 3851 times on 439 different labels.  Hey, if it sucks the first 3850 times it's released, it's going to suck on the 3851st time, fellas.  

I think the thing that has me so damn worked up about all this is the way that 'The Big Evil' (MTV, Rolling Stone, and the others) are hyping this as some sort of 'Seattle Part 2'. Ladies and gentlemen, I had front row seats for the original 'Seattle Invasion' (I had just turned 14..so I was in the whole rebellious teenager phase.) For about five minutes, that was real...a juggernaut that came crashing in and changed the world. Kurt Cobain, Eddie Vedder, Chris Cornell, Layne Staley, Dave Grohl, etc, etc...these are musicians that changed the face of music and had (and still have) a lasting influence on music (both above and underground). But that's about five minutes longer than this current explosion. This is all so blatantlly about making billionaires even more money that there is no way in hell that it can be "about the music". Isn't that usually what sequels are all about anyway?

The same thing can be said about the raping of Emo and Hardcore that 'The Big Evil' is committing right now...but that's another rant for another day.

Oh, one last thing: Julian Casa-whatever in the hell your name is (Singer for The Strokes)...it's called Stridex. USE IT.

A COUPLE QUICK THOUGHTS TO CLOSE OUT THE SUMMER OF 2002

**The five best albums that came out this summer (from the middle of may until the end of August)
1-Bloodjinn 'Leave This World Breathing'
2-Dillinger Escape Plan w/ Mike Patton 'Irony Is A Dead Scene'
3-Dave Matthews Band 'Busted Stuff'
4-Glassjaw 'Worship and Tribute'
5-Bruce Springsteen 'The Rising'

**The three best movies of this summer
1-Signs
2-Road To Perdition
3-Austin Powers In Goldmember

**Best DVD of the Summer
'The Simpsons' Complete Second Season

AND FINALLY...
This comes from dictionary.com;

nel·ly or nel·lie   Pronunciation Key  (nl)
n. Offensive Slang pl. nel·lies 
Used as a disparaging term for an effeminate homosexual man.
[Probably from the name Nelly, nickname for Helen.]

Gives new meaning to "it's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes" doesn't it?