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Dr. Fever
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This town needs an enima!

Another month, another column (or rant-whatever you prefer)and, for once i've got a new topic. A little while back a very good friend of mine and I were discussing music (a common topic among so many of my friends). We were talking about bands we like (Metallica, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Boy Sets Fire, et al) and "bands" we don't like (N Sync, Limp Bizkit, Hole, et al). Then, the topic of one of our favorite all time bands came up: Nirvana. This is where the conversation got quite interesting...the following is what I decided through the conversation:

THE MUSIC INDUSTRY NEEDS ANOTHER NIRVANA!!

There it is, plain and simple. Let me explain...
Ok almost ten years ago the music world was dominated by f***ing terrible sacrine pop music and even more f***ing terrible rock (although there were a few good bands...Faith No More comes to mind). Then, all of a sudden, this band comes blowing in out of Seattle and BOOM things got turned upside down. The next thing you know a stream of Seattle bands (Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, Mudhoney...) suddenly made their way into the mainstream, which was soon followed by bands from other areas that had the same sound (Stone Temple Pilots anyone?). Next thing you know: the pop music disappeared off the charts (for the most part) and the hair bands and Adam Curry went off into "Whatever Happened To..." land. (A quick lesson for those to young to remember: Adam Curry was basically the Carson Daly of his time..except with a REALLY bad mullet) Granted, the market got REAL bad..it seemed slimy record producers were giving anyone with a flannel and a beat up Jazzmaster a record deal. Still, things were going well..until that fateful day in April of '94 when Courtney Loves' paid assaisin blew Cobains head off. Then what happened?? Every thing backslide to the state it's in today. Think about it...f***ing terrible sacrine boy bands (N Sync, Backstreet Boys, etc) and really f***ing terrible rock bands (Limp Bizkit, etc). 
So, this brings me back to the central point...we need a new Nirvana to come and shake things up..could it happen?? Who knows...but, i've got a couple of bands to look at and examine their potential.

1. Papa Roach. Don't get me wrong..I dig these guys. The reasoning behind this one is simple..some people in the music industry (translation: radio program directors) are calling their latest single ("Broken Home") Generation Y's "...Teen Spirit". I say, f*** NO! A good song, yeah, but "Smells Like Teen Spirit"?? Not even close. Besides, I'm not sure the singer is stable enough to take over the mantle of Kurt.

2.Korn. Awww yes, Korn. Every 15 year old who hates their parents favorite band. No, they won't be it either. Granted, they did write the last, so called "Generation Y's '...Teen Spirit'" ("Freak on a Leash"), but, they'll probably fade away sometime. And besides, I know for a FACT Jonathan Davis couldn't handle the pressure of being called "The New Kurt Cobain".

3. Everclear.An intriquing possibility, but, they'll never do it. Art Alesakis is pushing 40 and wants to retire soon so he can spend time with his daughter..that about kills that idea

4. Limp Bizkit. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Next....

5. Slipknot. No, they should be content with just being called the "Band Most Likely To Take Over for Slayer"...I don't agree with that statement, but, it fits a lot better than "The Next Nirvana".

So, who is it??? Who knows, maybe it'll go down like it did last time...some relativly unknown band barrels into our conciousness and changes everything. Well, until that bands lead singer is killed by somebody hired by his wife so she can ride that pity party to a career of her own and puts us back to square one. (hmm...that gives me an idea for another rant...)

But, that's just my opinion, and I could be wrong.

Questions, Comments and stupid reasons why Courtney didn't kill Kurt (HAHAHAHA) should be emailed to:  [email protected]

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