~dr fever~

So, I've been thinking a lot about what to write this month's column about and I think I�ve finally hit on it. I got my inspiration from a political cartoon I saw in the Charleston (WV) newspaper not that long ago and I think I speaks volumes. The cartoon shows two 15-ish kids walking down the halls of AnyHighSchool USA, wearing matching baggy jeans with the tops of there matching boxers showing. Both are wearing over sized t-shirts and backwards, fitted baseball hats. Now, EVERY other kid in the background of this cartoon is wearing the exact same thing. The �conversation bubble� above one kids head says. �I could never go to a school that requires uniforms, I gotta express myself and be different from everyone else�. Get the joke??? I sure as hell do and thus, the inspiration for this months column.

Let me say this write off, normally I can come up with something to blame these disturbing trends I write about on...but not this. I think the best blame lies with MTV and the like, but I�m just not sure. So, I'll try and examine this. I�ve grown up in about the most hick/redneck/backwards location you could imagine, how I turned out like I did is nothing short of a miracle. What gets me is all of these things that are fashionable NOW, I've been doing for YEARS (as I'm sure many of you have as well). It kills me. I don�t intend to change because these styles are what are comfortable to me. I can�t help it if they�ve all of a sudden gotten so mainstream it�s sickening.
I guess, what makes me just downright f***ing ill is the jackasses who HONESTLY think that wearing a backwards hat, or baggy jeans, etc makes them so ORIGINAL! Are they nuts!?!?!? Hey folks, here�s a news flash, the days of true �originality� when it comes to clothes, fashion, whatever are OVER. Everything�s been done. I�m old enough to remember a time when tattoos and piercings were only for dirty old bikers. Now?? Well, every 16 year old girl with an Abercrombie and Fitch midriff shirt and Tommy Girl jeans has a pierced navel and a tattoo on her ankle. This is just an example though.

Another thing that bugs the living s*** out of me is the thought �what will my generation be remembered for�. I mean, over the years generations are remembered for civil rights battles, battles for peace against war, political statements. The list goes on. My generation on the other hand? Well, we�ll be remembered as the �Tattooed, pierced worthless s***heads that wear out underwear OUTSIDE our pants.� And, let me tell you, I can quote Denis Leary to sum up the entire underwear thing: �That�s one of the most basic rules we learn, that underwear goes inside the pants...That�s why it�s call under-f***in-wear!� 

It�s really quite sad, and like I said it just bothers the s*** out of me. Ok, here�s the reality break for all of you out there...�you are not the clothes you wear, you are not the contents of your wallet, you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake, you are not your f***ing khakis. We are all a part of the same compost heap!� Get it?? 

So, where does this leave us? Well, I�ll tell ya...to me, originality is all about what you think and what you feel, not how you look. In other words THINK FOR YOURSELVES don�t be a mindless drone just following Carson Daly's orders...wear what�s comfortable, have opinions (especially your own, who cares if it�s not the same one as all your friends), etc, But don�t ever try to be �original�. Once you claim to be �original� then you�ve already fallen into the trap.

Of course, that�s just my opinion and I could be wrong.