with DeadSun

You've seen him in Fan Speak all around the antiMUSIC network, now DeadSun gets his big show as the host of his very own talk show,  The Not Quite-So DeadShow ! Forget Oprah and Dr. Phil, DeadSun knows how to liven up a talk show. 

disclaimer for lawyers and dumbasses: Please read the disclaimer before proceeding with this article. the disclaimer is included here-in by reference.

If you are under the age of 17, this article is not meant for you so please bugger off. For those too lazy to click what follows is parody and celebrity a**holes are impersonated

Hello out there in Revolution land! 

Are you restless?

Are you tired and frustrated, because the guy down the road makes more money than you? You ARE? Well who ISN�T? Have you been yearning to rise up, and take the fight to the evil, privileged class, who runs the world behind the scenes? We all know how these capitalist swine are--- arrogant, stodgy, gluttonous fat-cats--- you�ve all been put to sleep by centuries of lies and deceits.

Are you ready for some REAL change?

Are you ready for a People�s Revolution? 

Well you�ve come to the right place. This is where the Revolution begins! It�s FAST! It�s EASY! Right now, I�ll bet you�re all half-crazed with excitement, saying �OH GOD, DEADSUN! Tell me how to be a part of the fight against the System!�

( Opens a large cardboard box )

Just buy my music and merchandise!

That�s right, ladies and gentlemen� for only $18.95, YOU TOO can stand up against the corporate pigs who spend all of their time lulling you into an endless cycle of mindless consumerism. Just open your wallets--- it�s THAT easy! Take my band�s debut release, for instance : �Red Star, Bloody Star�. For the same amount of money as it would cost you to buy into some fat-cat profiteer�s band, you get a FULL forty seven minutes of music, straight from the soul of the proletariat vanguard!

--- and REMEMBER� for an additional $4.95, you can get our super, deluxe, Karl Marx keychain. The keychain sports the likeness of the late, great prophet of our movement, and over his head reads the caption : �Hey! Ho! Their system has to go!�

� but the great giveaway bargains DON�T STOP THERE!

For just $24.95, you�ll strike a MIGHTY blow to the imperialist pigs, as you hang out at the mall in this hand-crafted, very trendy, non-materialistic Che Guevara T shirt. Only $24.95! WOW!

Isn�t it time YOU stood up to the slavery that holds us back everyday?

Well, what are you waiting for? I�ve got posters for $15.00! I�ve got buttons for $3.99 each! I�ve even put Chairman Mao�s loveable face on edible underwear! So COME ON DOWN to the DeadShow� we�ve got more Revolutionary music and merchandise than you can shake a manifesto at! 

Maybe a few posters and cds ISN�T enough? Maybe you REALLY mean business, and really want to gain a decisive victory against the ghastly bourgeoise? Well NOW YOU CAN! That�s right�just buy our Premium Underground Anti-Capitalist Starter Kit� already a value in its own right, we�re practically GIVING THEM AWAY at $89.95 EACH! You�ve got the DeadSun Guarantee on this one, ladies and gents. You�ll get so swept up with your new anti-bourgoise lifestyle, you might even further the cause against the system by starting your own band, and wind up touring the country in a super-Revolutionary MTV tour bus. All for only $89.95!

HOW ABOUT THAT!

Just picture it� sticking it to the profiteers, the nice cars and music videos, fighting off the oppressive capitalist regime, the big house in the hills, bringing about the demise of private ownership, the sold out concerts and stylish berets, leading the charge against the slave-owning corporatists, and warning the masses against the evils of materialism--- all through the sale of YOUR anti-capitalist music and merchandise. DOWN WITH THE SYSTEM, YEAH!

Maybe you think you�re too old for Revolutionary Socialism--- past your prime, and all that? You probably think the Revolution is only for attention-starved mall rats, and uptight university students, right? WRONG. 

Not if DeadSun can help it!

I�m here to present for you--- for the FIRST TIME ANYWHERE--- an offer JUST for all of you aspiring, middle-aged Revolutionaries out there. It is with great pride and honor that DeadSun Productions Ltd, in affiliation with Time Gold Classics, presents :

�Lenin Love : A Collection of the World�s Most Cherished Socialist Love Songs�

That�s right folks, pick up the phone, and order TODAY. With �Lenin Love�, you�ll forever be able to ignite those tender Revolutionary moments with that special someone--- all captured on this beautifully packaged, 2 disc set, for just $34.95. �Lenin Love� is packed full of some of the socialist movement�s most endearing musical moments--- moments that are guaranteed to fan the embers of dialectical materialism. 

Just have a look at this list of golden hits!

�Save All of Your Bolshevik Love for Me�

�You Have a Hold on My Central Planning Committee�

�Just You and Me (and Lenin�s Roaming Hands)�

*Can you feel the romance in that one?*

�This Aching Politburo in My Heart�

�Let�s Fall in Non-Materialistc Love All Over Again�

�You Touch Me in My Worker�s Cooperative�

*Beautiful� just� beautiful.�

�Only Che Guevara Could Keep Our Love Apart�

�I�ll Stand in a Government Line for Your Love�

�Your Love is a Rose (Covered in Stalin Pricks)�

*AND WHO AMONG US hasn�t been touched to the core by this next timeless classic?*

�This Forced Labor Camp Between our Sheets�

Folks, this list could go on and on. When you pick up that phone, and reserve YOUR own copy of �Lenin Love�, you become a special part of the warmth and charm that only Revolutionary Socialism can bring. So PLEASE--- don�t wait any longer. Have your EZ Credit or Cash Xpress credit card ready� no CODs, please� and order your copy of �Lenin Love�, for only $34.95. Call 1-800-COM-L-O-V-E.

Isn�t it time and your lover discovered the bittersweet, romantic side of a state controlled economy?

CALL NOW! That�s 1-800-COM-L-O-V-E. 

Start a Revolution in your bedroom today!

( See you next month, kiddies. Hope you enjoyed my little vignette. Have a great October. This is the DeadSun, signing off. )