Wentz To Wed Ashlee This Weekend?

05/13/2008
. The following story was part of the Day in Rock Report for 5/13/08 - (Hecklerspray) Everyone loves a nice wedding, don't they? Or failing that, a mediocre wedding. Or failing that, a wedding between Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. And it's a good job that everyone loves that, because it's been reported that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are going to get married this very Saturday. We know! It clashes with Norwegian Constitution Day! We're so torn!

But what about the details of this Ashlee Simpson/ Pete Wentz marriage extravaganza? Has it been officially confirmed? No. Where will it be held? We don't know. Does this mean that Pete Wentz definitely knocked Ashlee Simpson up? Probably. What if he hasn't? Then they're both idiots. How long will this marriage last, anyway? Probably like a week, maybe.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are probably the most adorable couple who you couldn't give a sloppy plop about in the world right now. But it's OK that you don't care whether Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz live or die, because the love they have for each other is personal and private and special and sacred. We know this because they're all over every single bloody magazine and TV show telling us how private their relationship is all the time, so it must be true. - more on this story