However, while we'd ban Elton John because he's a bit of a twit, Tobago wants to ban Elton John because he's gay. Although Elton John is due to play a festival in Tobago in April, angry islanders are calling for his performance to be banned, lest Elton John's inherent gayness suddenly turn all the men in Tobago into a roaming herd of predatory gay men. Perhaps nobody in Tobago has ever seen a picture of Elton John, because - in our experience - rather than recruiting straight men to the gays, the sight of an angry, tubby, bespectacled, gap-toothed 60-year-old in a ginger wig is usually enough to turn most gay men straight. [see full story for more] - Click here for the Full Story

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