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All Hail The New Flesh

Contained within is an account of my night with Strapping Young Lad, Day Send and Tourettes in Sydney's Metro on the 31st of October, 2003. Indeed, a glorious day in metal.

We arrived at the Metro on George Street some sixty minutes early. Most of the time leading up to actually entering the concert was spent in fear � why? Simply because Strapping Young Lad was an over eighteens gig � with me being but seventeen years of age. So when the infinitely intimidating bouncer looked at my ID, he took for granted that I was simply over eighteen. I mean, hell, I look twenty-three, but being booted out and having to scalp my tickets wasn't exactly the way I wanted to spend the night.
 
So my mate �Corpse' and I got into the foyer and had a few beers. The crowd looked somewhat bigger, and rougher than I think I'd ever experienced � which was probably a good thing. Even some four hours before Strapping were set to hit the stage, I knew it was going to be one f*cking massive night.

Having never been to the Metro before, I was pleasantly surprised. The venue itself is rather small, the crowd nearing around 2,000 people. It conveniently had a bar at the back, as well as several rows of railing to pass out against. So then the first band came on, Tourettes. I'd never heard them before, but I'd heard the buzz about their recent LP launch around the inner city. I wasn't quite sure what to make of them, the singer looked like a feminine guy, but obviously was a chick. The guitarist was fairly average, and played with Hetfield's new downtuned Grynch guitar � possibly why they blew so much. Corpse and I decided to pass the time as anyone would in such a situation; by drinking more beer.

After abusing the bar-staff over not selling Victoria Bitter, we chilled out until the next band came on. The lights dimmed, and the curtains opened. The band was all clad in black, with two guitarists, one damn fine little blonde bassist, a rat-westie drummer with an awesome Sonar kit, and a gigantic vocalist towering over the rest of the band at seven-to-eight-foot.

To be honest, the band completely blew me away. The vocalist was powerful, confident, and � like us - having one hell of a time. He sung like a traditional hardcore metal vocalist, but the rest of the band swayed between hardcore, to industrial, to thrash. The lead guitarist was incredible, pulling untraditional Meshuggah-like solos every so often. The songs were complex and powerful, often with multiple peaks, progressions and time changes.
Some of the riff's the two guitarists thrashed out amazed me. Such complicated multi-layering, ridiculous dual harmonies and powerful bursts of speed. The band were Sydney locals, and called themselves Day Send. I was wondering why I hadn't heard of them before � possibly because they were previously known as Psi-Kore until their old (s***ty) vocalist left them. I look forward to hearing from them again.

After downing more beer, Corpse and I headed down to the pit. For some particular reason, it seemed like everyone was eyeing me off. I could hear mutters of �I know who I'm targeting tonight' and so forth, but I just ignored it. I cannot describe the buildup of energy, and the sheer anxiety I experienced waiting for the boys to take the stage. After around half an hour of waiting the curtains opened.

The stage was empty. A strange high-pitched song began to blurt out of the speakers. Suddenly I recognized it � South Park's Blame Canada. How fitting! One could always depend of Devy's warped sense of humour. A few minutes later, Devinesque screams began to come from off stage as the band took their positions, the huge Gene Hoglan, waddling to his rather-large kit. Devy stood directly in center stage, with a single light beaming up on him. �SYDNEY. DID YOU MISS US? CAUSE WE SURE AS f*** MISSED YOU.' 
 
There was no question of Devy's dubious mental health. A great cheer went up from the crowd, Devy screamed, and started beating out the opening riff of Consequence. The night was marked out by several things; the sheer dynamic and charismatic energy Devy emitted, the aggressive response of the crowd, the tiny venue in which we all moshed and Gene Hoglan's mind-boggling drumming.

As Gene pounded through each song, he never seemed too phased � always finding time to flip up his sticks and gee up the crowd. After Relentless Devy stopped to say a few words; �You know� I've worked out that all I can really do nowdays is scream
AHHHWEEEHEHEOOOHHHOOOOA' � a grotesque scream which carried on into the start of Oh My f***ing God. But when it came to the end of the bridge, the band stopped. Devy looked around menacingly.

 A green glowstick flew on stage. Devy eyed it suspiciously; �LOOK! It's a glowing wiener of death!' He walked over and placed it down his pants. �I eat a lot of asparagus. If only I could pee neon plasma the wonder twins could be complete! WONDER TWINS! UNITE' *the entire band mimicked his hand actions* �Form of; pissed off little bald Canadian! Now would you all care to join me in the final chorus of
this lovely ditty?' 

The atmosphere that night was unlike anything I've ever experienced. It was as it we were all mates, we were all comrades. Dev was just another one of us, a confident and angry young man with inane facial expressions. He opened the next song with the corny line of ; �This song sums up my high school biology class. Why? WHY? Because it was AFTERMATH! Oh yea� and buy a f***ing t-shirt.'

That night Devin shared his dream with us; �When I was working at AMW for four dollars seventeen cents Canadian an hour, I used to dream that I could scream the loudest in a room full of eleven thousand people.' As the dreaded end of the night neared, Dev said to us all  �f*** this we're doing one more song so I can sleep and do other rock star s*** like drugs and I gotta be on a plane tomorrow.' He slammed out the metal epic Detox and bid us all goodnight, then left the stage.
 
But wait, didn't Dev promise he'd do an encore at the start of the night? The chant rose up �STRAPP � ING, STRAPP � ING' and continued to grow until the band came back onstage. Dev looked overwhelmed with the enthusiasm of the crowd �Okay, we'll play two more songs for you guys. All rock bulls*** aside, we love coming to Australia, we love you guys. We've been to Australia in ten years more than some bands get to go ever, thanks for the support.'

The encore consisted of Dirt Pride and � one of my personal favorites � All Hail The New Flesh. And that did it. I was absolute f***ed. My neck was about to throw in the towel, I was covered in numerous cuts and bruises, and my much-loved M*E*T*A*L shirt was doused in blood and sweat. The ever-present and ever-growing death circle had taken its toll on my weary body. And Corpse � Corpse was exactly that. A Corpse. He was dazed, he was totally out of it. �f*** man� I think� I think I need a drink.'

We all left the city, completely satisfied, completely f***ed. Some random screamed at me �I BELIEVE IN GOD NOW MAN, I just saw him man� He's Devy' � Indeed, he was right. Without a doubt, Strapping Young Lad were the most energetic, violent, powerful and yet strangely friendly metal act I have ever seen. I can't help but agree with what Gene Hoglan once said; �Speaking of SYL, I gotta tell you, we are the coolest band on the planet, and that is no s***. I don't care who you are, Slayer or whoever, your band sucks compared to us.' Corpse couldn't help but agree. He'd been to Slayer with Machine Head a few years back, and said SYL brought metal to a new level of intensity.

While I once saw Kerry King as the definitive metal god of the new millennium, I have to say, the metal god has a new name. And that name is Devin Townsend.