Mushroomhead - XIII
The Hobo review

Mushroomhead - XIII

Before the Jason Vs. Freddy soundtrack, I had never heard of Mushroomhead. I'd seen some pictures of them whilst browsing some magazines once and thought �Hey, they look pretty angry� I'd better check them out.' So when I found out we'd just got in the new Mushroomhead CD, I was pretty excited (well� as excited as I get anyway.)

What a goddamn disappointment.

I'd heard people calling them the �new Slipknot,' but this is much much worse. I actually don't mind Slipknot's self-titled album � Joey Jordson comes up with some phat beats, (like on Eyeless) some of the riffs the guitarists churn out are pretty decent and I personally quite like Corey Taylor's vocal style. Mushroomhead could never touch a mediocre band like Slipknot in a million years. Ever.

The drumming is pathetic; pathetically simplistic with soft beats and basic fills, the kind you might expect on an Eminem record. The guitarists are a joke, managing to come up with uninspired four-to-eight chord patterns on their bassy downtuned guitars. And the vocalists � shiat. Where to start? We've got the bloke who screams all the time (let's call him �Mr. Screamy') who sounds decent at some points, but it becomes starkly obvious after a few tracks that Mr. Screamy has an extremely limited vocal range, and basically a useless singer.

Then we've got the other bloke (let's call him �Mr. Whiney Whore') who's got some stupid, constantly wavering and extremely ugly vocal style. He is similarly inflexible and uninspiring. Then we've got the DJ, who does f*** all throughout most the CD except for shove a few derivative scratches any fool could pull. He fails (unlike the Slipknot DJ) to add any kind of energy or value to any track.

I wonder if this is how most people see Slipknot � lacking in musicianship, supported only by some stupid gimmick. I don't really think Slipknot is anywhere near as soft or �posey' as these guys. At a glance of the CD you might actually be fooled into thinking that Mushroomhead are the next metal stars. You might turn to the back and see song titles such as Kill Tomorrow, The War Inside and Destroy The World Around Me and be misled, thinking that Mushroomhead are in some way heavy or violent in nature.

It has been a long time since I've heard a band so dependent on its clichéd pseudo-toughman gimmick, so lacking in substance, so devoid of musical skill, so unoriginally crafted, so blatant in its attempt to blend genres and failing so badly, so limited by their own lack of creativity, so disappointing, so mournful, so pathetic, so uninspired and so boring. You'll find yourself disheartened and disillusioned if you're ever bored enough to give the disc a spin, knowing full well that someone out there will be stupid enough to buy this crap.

Like the new Adema or Limp Bizkit, this album will have you locked in your room crying with your head between your knees rocking back and forth, starving yourself for weeks and constantly deliberating the very real option of a killing spree in order to save yourself from the constant anguish which plagues your pained mind.

Mushroomhead - XIII
Label: Universal
Rating:

Track Listing:
1.Kill Tomorrow
2.Sun Doesn't Rise
3.Mother Machine Gun
4.Nowhere To Go
5.Becoming Cold (216)
6.One More Day
7.The Dream Is Over
8.The War Inside
9.Almost Gone
10.Eternal
11.Our Own Way
12.Destroy The World Around Me
13.Thirteen

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