Is it a hit, *hit or miss?

Busted  by Greenmuse

Busted - Busted
Label: Universal
Hit, *hit or Miss?:  *hit
Rating: 

Where to start? Basically Busted is the band for you if you like Britany Spears but don't want to admit it to your Blink 182 fan friends, and you would like Avril Lavinge, but her music packs too much balls to the wall rock n roll for you. That only begins to scratch the surface of these jokers. Linkin Park has been called a boyband with guitars, but mostly in jest, Busted is exactly that. I wouldn't be surprised if one or more of these guys are ex-members of Westlife. Lets get on to a song by song breakdown of this, which is honestly the worst thing I've ever heard since the Op Ivy tribute album (anyone who knows me knows how low I regard that album)

"Air Hostess": This song is evil as it starts off with a typical ponk (pop punk, heavy on the pop)intro that makes one almost think "hmm, this might have some saving grace to it."  Then I'll be damned if right when someone screams "lets go," Chris Kirkpatrick comes in and  starts crooning about some air hostess he met on an airplane who *gasp*didn't know he was in a band. Though, this song gets some points from me for being a bit dirty (sample lyrics "I messed my pants when we flew over France" and "you whispered in my ear, the words I longed to hear, I want you to feel me here".) The pants messing part helped detract from the crappy pro-tooled sound of this song courtesy of Steve Power who also produced, mixed/programmed/drum programmed/keyboarded this tune. Which makes me wonder just what did the band do? 

"What I go to school for":  Whew doggie, now this is the single that most people associate with this band. In the credits, the band thanks Blink 182 for inspiration. This song could almost be a Blink song� almost, blink rocks way harder than this. The song is about a kid having a crush on his teacher and sings about the teacher being what he goes to school for, then later in the song the teacher tells him he is what she goes to school for and has "packed a bag in the trunk, looks like she picked herself a hunk".  Then the two drive by the school much to the amazement of the kid's friends. Isn't there laws against this? Maybe in England there isn't, but here in the U.S. of A we take a firm stand against this sort of thing. Oh this also reminds me of a re-occurring theme of this album-these guys are cute and great. Just in case you didn't know. Most of their songs seem to be a self fellating ego trip. Sucky sucky boys. Also pro-tooled and produced out the wazoo. Maybe I haven�t bought a CD in a long time, but is it common practice to have the pro- tools guy listed in the credits after each song? 

"Crashed the Wedding": another song that starts off almost rocking, then that darn Chris Kirkpatrick comes in and starts singing lost tracks off of Nsync's never released album. This tune is about how great this guy is that he can crash a wedding and regain the girl that is rightfully his. Though her father didn't want them to be together because the kid had no job. Doesn't that father know that he is no match for the hotness of a member of Busted? ? ? Silly father, jobs are for "not hot" people! 

"3 am":  John Mayer is in the hizzowz! Except he craps better songs than this. In this tune we get to hear the never before heard line in pop music" I don't think my heart can take much more". This is how I felt listen to this dreck. Seriously, I think I deserve a medal from antiMusic for surviving this album. This tune is a throwback to the power ballad. In case you didn�t know, Busted has a soft pink underbelly under that battle hardened exterior. . . Oh and no kick ass solo like the power ballads of old. Poison fans resume you seated position and flic your bic in the off position. Lyrically this is probably the best song on this album, probably because about 3 other people outside of the band co wrote it.  

"Teenage Kicks":  This is the best song on here because it is a cover, yet this is the main reason I wish plagues of locusts to chew the ears off of the band and whoever produced and pro-tooled the crap out of this. The Undertones were a great band that deserve a better band to cover them than these guys. Music wise it's close enough to the original. But the studio magic, or whatever they used on this, make the band sound like Weird Al making fun of a ponk band covering The Undertones. Did I mention I hate these guys because of this cover?  

"She Wants To Be Me": Honestly, I don't know what the heck to make of this song. Apparently, Busted boys are so damn hot and cute that some girls don't want just be with the them, they want to be them. This is a lovely ditty about one of their girlfriends becoming so obsessed with them that she dresses like him and even to quote the song "stands up to pee". I'm sure this never actually happened as the song is penned by at least 3 other people besides the band. The song is muddled and confusing. You'd think between 6 people a coherent song could be crafted. Then again, my brain could be mush by this point after dealing with the 5 songs before this one. 

"You said No": I suspect this is a filler tune, as it just seems like a bit less went into it than some of the rest of the tunes on here. But in this song we get a change of pace. It would appear in this sick and sorry world that one girl can withstand the cuteness of Busted. In fact, she turned the bloke down when he asked her to dance at a disco! And in what is seemingly a trend among these guys this tune gets a bit disturbing with the line "maybe you think you are too good for me/tonight when you get home you are going to see that I know. I've got something better than you baby" but the song doesn't say what he has, or what happens when she gets home. I suspect the lad has found himself a mirror. Or perhaps Clay Aiken. 

"Thunderbirds are go": I was nervous when I first saw this as I thought the band had no decency and were going to butcher the beloved Rezillos tune I know and love, like they did "Teenage Kicks". But much like the crap film it was written for, it has little to do with its predecessor. This song is perfect for that film. I wouldn't hit a bull in the ass with a Thunderbirds film that doesn't have puppets in it. A live action Thunderbirds? What were they thinking? If you didn�t think less of the Thunderbirds after that film, you will after this song. But if you have a soft spot for puppetry and good songs about said puppetry check  out the Rezillos "Thunderbirds are Go" 

"Who's David": He's the guy your girl shagged! That's who he is! You think with such a subject matter Busted would finally pull the stops, turn the amps to 11 and rock the house, but they don't. No no, they enlist tired boyband melodies and a very Blink like chorus. Though in the song there is a word blanked out, and I suspect it's the c word. There are a few words that get the beep treatment on this album, but this time it's just a blank. You would think the publicist would have sent an uncensored version to be reviewed at antiMusic, though I put my money on such a version not existing. But who knows? They did send the album to us for review in the first place, so they must not be too bright. *smirk* though at least this tune is written by just the people in the band. 

"Year 3000": In case you wondered where Hanson had went off to, worry not because apparently they traveled to jolly old England and recorded this tune under the guise of Busted. This song is so cranked up on the poppy fun meter it seems out of place even on this album. Either this is a filler tune or one of the worst songs ever crafted. Again disturbing images appear. Ok, a quick run down of the song: guy builds time machine, it has a flux capacitor like the film they had seen. (punk ass kids, I remember seeing "Back to the Future" in a theatre. ) Guy travels to the year 3000 and sees one of Busted's great grand daughters and much to the relief of everyone, she's pretty fine. Now why would someone include this line in a song. Who cares if their relative is attractive? First its implied sex with teachers, now this? ? Where does it end Busted, where does it end? Oh and if you are marking calendars, in the year 3000 Busted plans to release a 7th album and the song I'm speaking of goes multi platinum and outsells Michael Jackson. So, bam in your face Jacko! Busted plans to outsell your freaky ass in the year 3000! So put that in your pipe and smoke it. Also according to these prophets, in 3000 women have 3 boobs and we all live underwater. 

"Sleeping with the light on": I swear I've heard this tune somewhere before by some crap hair band like Mister Mister or Trixter as their power ballad. Listen to this and it sounds just like one of those ballads played in a different key and with less flashy guitar work and sung by some yarbleless eunuch. Written by two guys in the band, who have a real knack for writing radio ready tunes to get preteen girls to open their wallets in antic. . . . . aaa . . . pation. 

"Falling for You": let's tack on bedwetting to the list of disturbing things these guys write about. And I'm sure it must be pee pee other than "other" body fluids, as he seems to be the only one in the bed waking up, wanting someone to turn the light on. Unless he had the subject of much snickering at any school sex ed class, the nocturnal emission. And if so, frankly nobody wants to hear about that. 

So there you have it folks, my take on the latest English import. I say they can keep it along with their eel pie, blood pudding and spotted dick. How bout giving us in the States jaffa cakes instead of this crap. I bet I could spin a jaffa on a record player and get some better tunes than what's on this disc. But I've compiled some good uses for this album: 

1. Get out and play Frisbee with your dog. 
2. Use it to pick up under age girls*wags finger*shame on you! 
3. Euthanize your grandparents with it. 
4. Add it to your collection of AOL discs. It'll fit right in
5. Plant it as a joke in friends houses when they have ladies over. 

Who am I kidding, these are the only uses for this cd.