If I had a million dollars, I'd definitely pay some program director to get my songs on the air. As a matter of fact, that's the going rate to break a pop act into super-stardom. At least that's the rumor. (I'd say more, but I ain't that stupid.)

Unfortunately, that's payola. Even more unfortunate than that is the simple fact that that's the way the world works.

Payola is a dicey subject. On the one hand, it's an illegal practice that stems from the early days of rock radio. In a nutshell, I do for you, so you do for me. I pay you, you play the songs. It was a pretty simple arrangement. The problem is that it can also end up being a pretty expensive arrangement because airtime is going to end up going to the highest bidder.

Payola enables "the Man" to force-feed schlock like Christina Aggravating-whora and Ashlee Simpson (Don't even get me started) down our collective throats.

And, of course, it's illegal. At least in theory.

You see, when the payola laws were written, they inserted a little line of text that essentially negated the law; Business gifts are not considered to be payola.

You may want to go back and read that again and let it sink in for a moment: A business gift is not payola.